On The Human Condition

How are you feeling? We have feelings, and they come to us in two forms: physical sensations, and the more complicated blend we call emotions. Our sensory system is remarkably effective at prompting us toward action, usually around our physical needs. You are thirsty, and your body tells you so — parched lips, a dry throat, even a headache. Hunger works in a similar way. So does our need for sleep, or the quiet signal that it's time to find a bathroom. More direct pain does this too: it lets you know to pull back from whatever is causing it. It's a feedback system. You act, the signal has done its job, and the discomfort resolves. When sensations are milder — numb, tingly, too hot or too cold, tired, hungry — there's often room to simply notice and wait before doing anything at all. Sometimes, if a disturbance persists, the natural next step is a visit to the medical doctor, whether that's your primary care physician, urgent care, or the emergency room, depending on the...

  On Human Experiences Am I not capable or broken? Mental Health Diagnosis and Treatment has drifted over the years, and I’ve seen certain developments over the course of my career. It has moved from something fewer people thought about or identified with to sometimes seeming like everyone is disordered, or they fear they are or are certain someone close to them is disordered. Of course, in those 40 years of practice in mental health care, the development of the www, the internet, media and social media has contributed amazingly to the instant access to information and the spread of opinions. Some of that is good, and some is bad. There are several elements we usually need to move through to have some framework for understanding the effects, impacts of life experiences, our responses to those life experiences and potentially how one might go about moving toward healing and into flourishing or wholeness which is usually the clear goal for most of us.  “The world breaks everyone...

 On Human Needs We are needy, and that isn't a defect! I've had several conversations in recent weeks regarding the legitimacy of human needs. Unfortunately, some have taken on messages that their neediness is a problem, whether directly spoken or interpreted from situations and responses. Many would simplify by categorizing human needs into lists: physical, mental and emotional, relational, and often spiritual. Of course, we all need air, water, food, and shelter — the necessities of safety in the physical realm. Most societies have laws making the deprivation of these needs, especially for the young and innocent, illegal. We also need attachment to others, to be loved and to love, to be accepted and belong somewhere, to have worth and the dignity of individuality, and to have agency — the right to choose and act, given appropriate age and development. When I was a child, I needed care and protection, both from the world and from myself, as my skills and capacities weren't...

  On Human Love – Most couples don't set out to lose the generosity of their love. It just drifts. There is commonly the slow drift from the ideal to the present experience, contributed to by the irritations, disappointments and unfulfilled longings for what they hope to have, or felt they had at one point, but no longer feel or experience it. I’ve been reading a book as part of my morning prayer and reflection time, And So To God by Dom Hubert van Zeller who was a Benedictine monk. In it is this gem I read recently,    Where marriage is concerned, a lot of idle speculation could be avoided, as well   as subsequent misery, if the two concerned were able to see the place of self-giving in the   union. Looked at even mathematically, if each one is more concerned with the other’s   happiness than his or her own, the net happiness, jointly contributed to, is assured.     What a lovely thought, that if the two of them were more focused on the...